Purpose

I haven't written a post in the past couple of weeks for a variety of reasons.

1.  I've felt insecure
2. I knew I shouldn't feel insecure
3. I wanted to seem "perfect" (lolololol)
4. My goal was to get readers
5. I'm not happy with that goal anymore
6. I long to be completely honest - back to insecurity
7. I've been busy

A friend made the point recently that blogs are about sounding put together.  And even if they are about hard things, they're written beautifully.  So true.  Whether that's OK or not is really about who's writing it.  For me, I struggle with control and keeping things in my life in complete order.  Which is stressful and impossible.

I want to work on being completely honest.  Not just in my words, because I already practice honesty in my relationships... But in how I live.  My house is not always clean... But you can bet your money that it's clean when I have company.  And when it isn't, I'm a hot mess of stress.  But I also need to work on this in other parts of my life... Including this blog.  So I'm no longer concerned about sounding eloquent.  You can read this, or you can ignore it.  It's fine either way.  But I want to be honest about my struggles and my life in general.

And I hope that along the way, my honesty can help someone else be more honest.  Or just simply not feel alone.  I unfollowed all of the trendy SAHM that I followed on Instagram yesterday...  Because every time I saw their cutely dressed trendy kids in 40$ handmade leather moccs, I felt like I wasn't being a good enough mom.  LIES.

Being a mommy isn't just about taking care of your kid.  It's about taking care of yourself too.  Mind included.  I can't keep crowding my mind with lies.

So, back to my goal of writing a post at least once a week.  We'll see if that happens.  If it doesn't, sorry.  But that's another part of the honest-about-my-life goal!  :)